


The "Sam" Fall

by hpautumngrl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpautumngrl/pseuds/hpautumngrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean never thought he'd fall in love with his best friend. Sam never thought Dean would fall in love with him either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The "Sam" Fall

It never occurs to you that you that you might fall in love when your best friend is a guy you’ve spent your whole life with. It certainly didn’t occur to Dean. It also didn’t occur to him that college would mean being away from his best friend or that the distance would make him realize said falling.

He knew Sam was gay – the guy hadn’t exactly been in the closet about it. But it never got awkward between them. If Sam liked Dean, he never showed it. Dean was profoundly straight. Well he thought he was anyway. A drunken make out with the star quarterback may have opened his eyes on that one.

He and Sam talked at least every other day, if not more. And that’s how it began; how Dean slowly realized that yeah he was completely in love with his best friend.

Sam had known for a while he was in love with Dean. Like eight years a while. He watched as Dean would fall for girls, tote them around town and show them off, and deal with the repercussions of the inevitable break up, be it Dean’s or the girls’ fault. Sam never meant to fall in love with Dean; it snuck up on him. There’s only so many times you can comfort a guy over a horrible break up before you start wishing he’d never have to feel that way again or that he’d say that you wouldn’t ever hurt him like that.

In all the time Sam had been friends with Dean, he had done a lot of pretending because he knew Dean didn’t like him like that. Dean was harboring no long standing crush and suggesting that Sam himself might be would make things awkward between them, and then they might never speak again. It was better to keep Dean as a friend.  
  
\---  
  
Sam was lounging on his dorm bed, California sun setting outside his window. Dean, on the other end of the phone, was in front of his dorm balcony, desk chair rocking back and forth, cigarette hanging loosely between his lips, moon just now rising in Massachusetts.

“…and it was the craziest thing, man. I dunno what that professor was thinking.” Sam trailed off, he’d been talking about some English paper he’d done really well on. Sam hated English even if they both knew he was good at it.

“Well if anyone can make a paper analyzing South Park not sound like complete crack, it’s you. You have a way with words, Sammy, own up to it.”

“Yeah, whatever, man. So how’s that Engineering degree treating you?”

Dean stubbed the now dead cigarette into his ashtray and closed the balcony doors. “Oh fantastic. Better than ever, really.” Dean didn’t mention that he was skipping out on classes on regular basis so he really had no idea how well he was doing. That would lead to questions of ‘what you doing skipping class?’ which would lead to questions like ‘why didn’t you tell me what was going on?’ Dean wasn’t ready for those questions yet.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?”

Damn it.

“Come on, Dean, spill. You know you can tell me anything. It’s not like you’re in love with me or anything right?”

If Sam had been there with Dean, he would have watched helplessly as all the color drained from Dean’s face. “…Right.”

“So? Spill.”

The thing about being in love and not wanting to admit it? It really does start to affect your daily habits. Dean probably hadn’t eaten a decent meal in two weeks; couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t dread going to class; forget dating and trying to get laid – he couldn’t even think about it, let alone do any of that, without feeling incredibly guilty. So Dean decided to lie – sort of.

“There’s just someone I like.”

“Oh.” Sam tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. He should have expected this. It’s not like Dean was his, they were just friends, and with him at Stanford and Dean at MIT, it would have been impractical anyway.

“Yeah, and he’s a great guy. Practically knows me better than I know myself, it seems.”

“He?” Sam stuttered over the word. “Wow, Dean. That’s, uh, that’s great.” Sam’s voice was cracking from trying to keep the tears back.

“Yeah, guy’s pretty much a genius. And he listens to my incessant rambling all the time, and I really like him, Sam. I really do.”

“That’s great, Dean. I’m happy for you. Hey, I’ve got a, uh, math test in the morning, so I should go study or something. I’ll talk to you later.” He didn’t give Dean enough time to respond before he was snapping his phone shut, throwing it across the room, curling into his pillow and sobbing heavily.

Dean stared at the silent phone in his hand. “Bye, I guess, then.”

He didn’t get out of bed the next morning.

Sam didn’t call him back either.

——

**Message #4**

_“Hey, Sam, it’s me again. Sorry to call so much, I guess. Just trying to check in on you, make sure you’re okay and haven’t done anything stupid. Call me back, ok?”_

**Message #15**

_“Hey, Sam, it’s me… again. I’m really worried about you. We haven’t gone this long without talking since that time I made you break up with a girl for me and I’m kinda freaking out. I hope you’re okay, please let me know soon.“_

**Message #28**

_“Sam, if you don’t call me back I’m going to assume you’re dead, or hate me. If I have to fly my ass out there to rescue your ass, so help me god, I will. Fuck it, I’ll be there soon.”_

——

Okay, so maybe Sam had been ignoring Dean for a whole week. He had a good reason. He couldn’t think of it at the moment but he knew he had one.

Spend the better part of adolescence pining after a guy, hoping he’ll realize how perfect you are for each other, and then he turns around and tells you that ‘oh yeah, he’s definitely gay. But for someone else.’ Sam was about ready to give up. So he’d spent the whole week barely going to class, stuffing his face with every kind of chocolate imaginable, and watching a lot of How I Met Your Mother.

A knock on his door shook him out of his reverie long enough for him to realize that meant someone was at the door for him. A muffled shout of SAM was heard before a fist pounded heavily on the door. Two someones then.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Keep your pants on.” He barely got the handle turned before it was being shoved open, a large-ish body was wrapping itself around him, and the poor guy from the reception desk was staring at him with a mix of shock and apology.

It took Sam a moment to realize who the leather-clad arms wrapped around him belonged to. Dean. His Dean. Dean was here. Why was Dean here?

“I – wha?” Sam stuttered.

“I’m sorry, Sam. He insisted it was an emergency. I couldn’t stop him.”

“It’s okay, Cas. Thank you.” He stepped back enough to close the door, dragging Dean with him.

Dean let go as the door clicked. He looked pissed. “You can’t learn to answer the damn phone? Do you even know how worried I was about you?”

“I-I’m sorry, Dean?”

“I thought you were dead, you idiot. I thought you’d gone and offed yourself and nobody bothered to call me and let me know. Do you even know-?” Dean’s eyes were shining with unshed tears. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Sammy. You can’t just fall off the radar like that.”

Sam, never able to ignore a crying Dean, pulled him into a hug before he said, “I’m – I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t think. I just – I was so angry. Because first my best friend of 20 years tells me he met someone, which is nothing new in and of itself,” Sam was getting frustrated now, “but then he tells me this someone is a guy. A guy. Because it’s not like I haven’t been gay my whole life or anything but you just casually dropped that on me like it wouldn’t rock my entire world.” Sam pulled away from Dean, “and then you go on to describe this guy. And for someone who’s been in love with you for what feels like forever, it kinda hurts to hear you describe a guy who is exactly like me and – oh.” Realization dawned on him. “I’m an idiot. I’m a moron. I’m just gonna stop talking and fling myself out my window now.” He was backing up to the window like he actually intended to do just that.

Dean raised an eyebrow, “No you’re not. Now, are you done ranting so I can explain?”

Sam sank into his desk chair. “I’m just gonna turn into an invisible puddle of goo now.”

Dean chuckled before leaning down to grab one of Sam’s hands. “First, I should apologize because that was probably a horrible way to tell my best friend I think I’m in love with him.” He knelt on the floor in front of Sam now. “Secondly, it still hurt to have said that and then have you hang up on, and ignore me for a week, just so you know. And third: been in love with me for what feels like forever? Really?”

Sam sniffled and nodded.

“That’s probably something you should tell a guy before he makes an ass of himself pretending to be in love with somebody else.”

Sam chuckled lightly. “Yeah well, I just spent a week thinking the man I’ve been in love with finally realized he was a gay for a completely different man, so…”

“I’m sorry. I’m an idiot, too. It wasn’t easy coming to terms with it, ya know?” He laid his head on Sam’s knees. “One minute I think I’m completely straight – right? And then – out of nowhere – I missed you. Way more than I should miss my best friend. I swear I didn’t eat for a week. Talking to you all the time didn’t help either. It just made me miss you more. Phone call nights were the worst. Why are you smiling?”

“Because I know exactly how that feels. Except like eight years ago and I had to see you every day – which is a million times more difficult than phone calls, by the way.” He combed a hand through Dean’s hair.

“Eight years? Wow. Now, how am I supposed to live up to that?”

“I dunno. But I’d say this is a pretty good start.”

“That’s good to know,” Dean laughed as he climbed onto Sam’s lap. “So what do two best friends who’ve just discovered and admitted their love for each other do as a follow up?”

“Well I can think of a couple things… But shower first, because I’m a mess and you just got off a plane. And then dinner and a movie?”

“Why, Samuel Wesson, are you invitin’ me out on a date?” Dean layered on a thick accent, throwing himself into the character.

“You know it, babe.” Sam smiled before pulling Dean in for a deep kiss, a messy clash of tongues and teeth that left both men breathless.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” breathed Dean.

“Well, I’m sure I have some idea…” chided Sam.

“Fair enough.” Dean scrunched his nose as he finally registered the layer of filth in the room and his own plane ruffled odor. “But um, seriously? Shower. Now?”

“Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](http://carryonmywincestsounds.tumblr.com/post/33467771548/sam-and-dean-are-best-friends-in-school-both-of-them) prompt to Camme (carryonmywincestsounds on tumblr). she humbly let me take over filling this prompt and so this is that result.


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